You Might Be A Stoner If...

April 20th is National Pot Smoker’s Day. You might be a stoner if…

…you’ve eaten a whole pizza and still wondered what’s for dinner.

…you’ve tried to microwave a bag of chips.

…you lost your lighter… while holding it.

…you think Taco Bell is a food group.

…you’ve named your plants after Snoop Dogg albums.

…you’ve stared at a lava lamp for so long you started narrating its life story.

…your smoke alarm is less of a warning and more of a vibe check.

…you’ve made eye contact with a Dorito and felt a spiritual connection.

…you’ve Googled “Can dogs get high?” and then apologized to your dog.

…you thought your shadow was following you too closely.

…you’ve ever eaten cereal with orange juice and called it “experimental.”

…you started watching a movie, then realized you were on the home screen.

…you’ve tried to turn down the volume on your microwave.

…you giggle at the word “giggle.”

…you made a sandwich, forgot you made a sandwich, then made another sandwich.

…you think “wake and bake” counts as a full to-do list.

…your couch has your body imprint like a memory foam crime scene.